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Eastpointe, Michigan, United States
Graduate of CCS. All around creative person, science enthusiast, technological adept, heavy metal killing machine.

Monday, November 10, 2008

From the past...

Here's a short story I wrote about 4 years ago. It's still fairly funny.


Reverse Abduction


“I told you there aren't any cows in the forest!”
His big black eyes were panning across the forest, focusing, trying to find his prize.
“Look, the boss told us we needed six cows, and we're never gonna find them in a forest!”
He still would not listen, “we have to go to a field, near a farm.”
His eyes stopped at a small lake a couple miles away.
“What is it?”
He pointed out the window. There was a small lake in the middle of the forest, and in the lake was a small object near its center. It was a boat, most likely containing humans.
My partner snapped back to reality from his stare, “let's go see what they're doing.”
“No!” I replied quickly, “the boss said only to get cattle, no playing around with humans.”
I can never reason with him. Knowing my luck he will get us fired, or worse. He stood behind the controls and clicked the outside lights on. He moved the ship around above the trees, almost like he was teasing the humans in the boat.
Our ship was a standard experimental vessel, three rooms, powered by dark-matter. The pilot's room, where we were, had one large window with a column in the center of the room that came up to our waists. On this column were the ships controls, all color coded and easy for anyone to understand. Behind the pilot's room, down a short hallway was the experiment room, the heart of the ship. Here is where we bring specimens for study. Our boss will usually give us assignments to find and this is where they end up. Lastly, behind that room was the “reception room”. The equipment here operates the tractor beam system. We use this to bring the actual specimens on board. From the outside, the ship appeared as a glowing orb with the lights on, and a black tube with the lights off.
We looked outside at the humans in the boat and my partner giggled, “they gotta be freakin' out.”
“I guess,” I replied with a shrug, “hey what's that one doing.”
One of the men in the boat stood up with a small object in his hand. He held it up and a small flash appeared at the end of the device.
“What was that!?” my partner said rushing to the window.
“I don't know, but he did it again.”
The human kept flashing our ship with his little light.
“All I know is that if he doesn't stop, he's gonna get it,” my partner said moving back to the controls.
“Sheesh, don't be so dramatic. Wait, wh, what are you goin' to do now.”
He pushed the button sequence to fly over the boat..
“Oh no! No no no no no no no,” I said walking over to him trying, in vain, to stop him, “I know what you're thinking. No, don't do it.”
He stopped the ship above the now frantic humans, locking the controls so I could not move them. He quickly moved out of the pilot room towards the back of the ship. I followed trying to reason with him.
“You can't, it's against the assignment,” I argued as we moved past the experiment room, “we could get fire or worse for this.”
“I don't care,” he replied, “I am so gonna probe them.”
“Urgh, why are you so obsessed with probing? Probe this, probe that, 'hey let's try probing it'. It's all you ever think about.”
He ignored me and activated the console to draw the humans to the ship. It is a bright light, whatever is in its glow is pulled into the ship.
“No one mocks us,” my partner said as the men were pulled into the ship.

We had them in the experiment room, there were four of them, all about the same build but one was a little bigger around the midsection than the others. They had flannel clothes with heavy pants on. My partner had them face done, naked, on four tables in the middle of the experiment room, the probe devices positioned above them.
“Make this quick,” I said to him, “not only are we way behind schedule because of this, but the big one took forever to knock out.”
He was silent, concentrating on the task of lining up the probes. Making sure the specimens are completely asleep during the procedure is a must. This will insure they do not remember what happens to them or how we do our experiments. We have a machine in this room that removes any outer coverings from the specimens as well. It's quicker than taking the clothes off by hand.
“Come on, I think that's enough,” I said, halfway through the probing, “I think the third one is starting to like it.”
My partner smirked, “I guess they learned their lesson.”
He turned all the probing machines off and turned the clothing machine on to get the men dressed. I walked back to the pilot's room while he finished up. I checked to see if there were any messages sent to us while we were doing the procedure. There was one.

My partner dropped the men back in their boat and came to the pilot's room. I was looking out the window and I pointed to the message that had arrived. His eyes sunk when he saw who it was from.
“The boss sent a message, huh?” he asked.
“Yeah, I guess he's mad that we fell so far behind on the schedule. He said something like, 'you idiots, you're useless, why do I even bother?' Guess we should get a couple cattle before we head back, just to make it look like we attempted work.”
“I guess so,” my partner said, “hey and afterward, you wanna go make some crop circles?”
“Sure.”

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